We all have similar emotional systems, so why do we behave so differently? I illustrated below how people who have identical drives and emotional systems with only different beliefs can end up behaving differently yet feeling internally the same. I plan to represent it more graphically and pretty, but this is where I am so far. It shows that internally, we all think and react similarly. Only a slight difference[…] Keep reading →

We’ve all been on both sides of the pattern below, usually with someone we like. Neither side likes it. Usually, neither side knows how to get out of it. From your perspective: You think you understand them when you don’t You do what you think they would like, thinking you’ll help them They don’t show appreciation You feel like they don’t appreciate you You consider them ungrateful and think they[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Can I Ask My Neighbors to Quiet Their Baby?“ A couple downstairs has started letting their baby cry it out. Having no kids myself, I don’t know if this is a valid parenting strategy. What I do[…] Keep reading →

I finally compiled the series of posts that became my book ReModel. I reordered and edited everything for the book for reading and learning, but most of the text is here. Click here to go to the series. The series describes and expands around an exercise to write your mental models and beliefs. I’ve found the exercise helpful for increasing your awareness—your mental models and beliefs influence your perception of[…] Keep reading →

[EDIT February 2020: I gathered, edited, and compiled all the posts I listed below into my book ReModel, which I recommend if you prefer a more curated experience with less clicking. Either way, I recommend doing the exercise. It gives a new way of seeing the world that costs nothing and takes little time.] This series covers my doing my Write Your Beliefs exercise, which I’ve found one of the[…] Keep reading →

I wrote the following to someone and couldn’t help sharing it here. There’s a common belief that passions are something you find. Like if you just turn over enough rocks you’ll find yours. It’s a nice fantasy and excuse for people who haven’t achieved much to explain why they haven’t and others have: “Well, I could do as much as so-and-so if I had found my passion. When I do[…] Keep reading →

Some of my favorite posts are when I visual model something complex. I created a new category, “Visualizations,” and in this post will link to most of them. Below are some of the visualizations I made. They’re out of context, but click on any to see the posts they’re in. I predict you’ll like them. Or click on the Visualization category to see all the posts in the category by[…] Keep reading →

Imagine you want a product and you know a store that sells it. You go to the store. Now imagine the moment you walk in, a salesperson walks up to you with the product you want—the same brand, model, color, and everything, even at a great price—and says, “I know what you want. Here’s what you’re looking for.” It would make you suspicious, wouldn’t it? Despite them offering what you[…] Keep reading →

I love learning about nature! I looked up about what happens to the mass you lose when you lose weight. A paper last month in the peer-reviewed BMJ (formerly British Medical Journal), “When somebody loses weight, where does the fat go?” confirmed what I had read casually: you exhale it, or rather you exhale 84% of it. The rest is water, which we excrete “in the urine, faeces, sweat, breath,[…] Keep reading →