People blame others for shaming them. The media, which benefits from confrontation and conflict, amplifies their voice. The blame arises in various contexts—sex, size, etc. I think they make themselves sound like children. Someone can try to shame you but only you can allow yourself to feel it, for adults who have learned to manage their emotions, at least. Feeling shame when you don’t want it means your emotions are[…] Keep reading →

Anyone can plan something. It’s harder to do it. If things went by plan they’d be easier. If you expected things to go by plan, you’d try more things. The problem is the unforeseen things and recovering from them. The more you can recover from unforeseen things, the more you’ll try. The more you try the more you’ll do. What can you recover from? How much can you recover from?

In college I could put my legs in front of me, keep my knees straight, bend forward and touch my toes with my fingers. It was easy and I thought nothing of it. I don’t remember the last time I could do it after college until last night. Why did I do it? It took me two or three months of twice-daily stretching to get there. I’d been embarrassed for[…] Keep reading →

“I did such a great job, I deserve this.” Who hasn’t said that in front of some cookies or ice cream? “I worked hard. I earned this.” Who hasn’t said that before lazily neglecting something important, calling it indulging themselves? “This employee has never made a mistake. Let’s promote them.” How many managers have rewarded box-checking behavior like that? If you tell yourself, and behave accordingly, that something unhealthy is[…] Keep reading →

I’m honored and flattered to have been invited to speak at a friend’s gathering next Sunday, September 20th at her casual soirée in Chelsea, Manhattan, called a FED talk, like a TED talk but with home-made food. I’ll speak and lead exercises in entrepreneurial thinking and behavior, which I consider broader than just entrepreneurship. You can think and act entrepreneurially in a big company, or without funding or the intent[…] Keep reading →

People see fitness as something you have to work hard for, doing painful things or spending long hours at the gym, avoiding eating things they like and having to eat things they don’t. It’s been the opposite for me. From my perspective, anyone with those beliefs doesn’t know what they’re talking about. They are confusing satisfying craving with enjoyment, sweating with misery, pleasure with good, and avoiding with depriving. People[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post,  “Can I Lie to My Father About Being Gay So He Will Pay for My College Education?” I am a young gay man in college. My father generously pays for my tuition and rent. The problem[…] Keep reading →

Academia has some serious problems. I give a lot of talks to graduate students on what they can do after graduate school, though the following applies to undergraduates too. Many of them are worried about finding jobs. I grab their attention every time with this question: When I was getting my PhD in physics, I thought the only fields I could go into were academia to become a professor, industry[…] Keep reading →

A reader sent me an article in the New York Times called “Rethinking Work.” It began, “HOW satisfied are we with our jobs?” and continued about polls about job satisfaction and various people’s views on work, implying we should think about work differently—we like work less for money and more for intrinsic reward. The author is a psychology professor. Articles like this come out all the time. I’m glad academics[…] Keep reading →