When you think, do you consciously decide what to think? I think most people do. But if you pay attention very closely to your thoughts, do you notice different parts of your mind working differently? I mention this because there seems to me to be a part of the mind that generates thoughts and another part that observes the thoughts. The part generating the thoughts seems to work on its[…] Keep reading →
Politicians tell you America is “losing ground” to other countries all the time. A search on “America is losing ground to China India” returns tons of results, many fear-mongering. This language comes from a misguided belief that business and trade are zero-sum competitions, that if someone elsewhere gets a deal then you lost it. If you want votes and don’t mind sowing fear, anxiety, and xenophobia, great. But people succeeding[…] Keep reading →
As soon as I saw this scene in the movie Boyhood, I knew I had to post about it. Any man who grew up with a sister experienced the frustration you learn to live with of society (represented by parents in the context of a family) considering you guilty first and responsible for problems. His sister taunts him. When the mother enters, his sister fakes tears and victimhood and their[…] Keep reading →
You have two options in life. Option 1 is to try, meaning actively trying at things that matter to you. If you try, things won’t always work as you want and you will sometimes feel bad. Not bad like your fell and scraped your knee. Bad like what’s-the-point?-Every-time-I-try-I-fail-so-why-keep-trying?-Why-bother-going-on-at-all?-I’m-a-failure-and-always-will-be bad. As far as I know, feeling that way is inevitable if you try. Option 2 is to eat cookies and ice[…] Keep reading →
A couple weeks ago I wrote about how almost nobody is acting for equality in “Op/Ed Friday: Almost nobody is acting for equality, which is why we aren’t getting it.” Many people talk about wanting equality. Many believe they are acting for it. That post describes how not many are, despite their belief. Since I write about leadership, I’m looking at the leadership results of people talking about one thing[…] Keep reading →
What do you need? Typically responses include food, shelter, love, relationships, vacations, etc. I’ve written before on the social repulsiveness of neediness (“You need to read this post” and “The risks of saying “I need…–, for example). Let’s consider the personal perspective. What perspectives on things can you change from feeling you need them into enjoying them? What relationships do you feel you need but you could instead simply enjoy?[…] Keep reading →
Do you wish you had more money? Mainstream society pushes that value on us. Many of us adopt it. Even when someone suggests questioning having more stuff or money, many people still say they’d rather have more. Let me break it down to the foundation: Would you rather be yourself or to have been born a Rockefeller? If you were born a Rockefeller, you would have been born with more[…] Keep reading →
If you don’t act for equality, it doesn’t matter how much you want it, you aren’t going to get it. Almost nobody is acting for equality so we aren’t getting it. Many people think they are acting to create equality, but their behavior is counterproductive to equality, despite their intent. Why do I say people aren’t acting for equality? What are people doing if they aren’t acting for equality? Many[…] Keep reading →
I’ve been meaning to write about a book that challenged and led to me changing beliefs more than any other I can think of. I write about beliefs and mental models here a lot. My leadership seminars and courses cover beliefs, how they influence your perceptions, and how to change them. Some beliefs you change a lot, or at least you feel flexible about. Some beliefs you believe and you[…] Keep reading →