Mementos of my high school girlfriend

Part 1: College personalities not so unique In college, I remember meeting many classmates who seemed unique. I couldn't imagine anyone else like them. Thirty years later, I've seen people like each. Over and over as college classes turn over every four years. I've also seen them grow up to become like everyone else. There's some variation, of course, but the differences aren't that great. Part 2: My high school girlfriend In high school, I met a girl junior year, which would have been around the winter 1987--88. Senior year we fell in love and she became my first girlfriend. We stayed together into college, though she went to school outside Boston and I want to school in Manhattan. After breaking up, we stayed in…

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R.I.P. Eva Kor, who expanded compassion, empathy, and forgiveness

I just learned that Eva Kor died. Her story in the movie Forgiving Dr. Mengele expanded empathy and forgiveness for me. Decades after recovering from Nazi torture in Auschwitz under "Doctor" Mengele, she returned, as shown in the documentary. She learned that harboring anger didn't improve her life, so chose to forgive the Nazis, including Dr. Mengele. Many people speak of turning the other cheek, loving their enemies, or similar strategies but only in principle. People say, "anger is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die," yet remain angry, somehow not digesting the words they haughtily show their would-be virtue. Ms. Kor did so in practice. Beyond others' inability to do what she did, they attacked her. She enables me to see a…

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Beware arch problems

"Arch problems" is my name for problems where their would-be solutions exacerbate the problem. Their cure is the disease. Why "arch"? Arches in architecture are strong under pressure, supporting something. If you think an arch is weak and try to help it by supporting it, you weaken it, which may lead you to support it more. This cycle of weakening it by supporting it more can lead to either the arch collapsing or you doing all the support for the arch. They can be insidious because the more you try to help, the more they require your help. You strengthen an arch by putting it under stress. Not too much. There are lots of problems that show this pattern. I'll list a few. Helicopter parenting:…

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The Story Behind Initiative’s Cover

I wanted to share the story behind Initiative's cover. Layout The designer first sent a few cover designs. They were contemporary and appropriate for 2019, but they didn't feel right. I couldn't point to anything wrong with them, but they didn't resonate. When we spoke to review his first designs, I told him that they felt "now," but I considered my book timeless. It's not about making apps, blockchain, or the latest fad. I felt ancient Greeks could have used its exercises to find their passions and discover their priorities as well as anyone today. We started searching for images of classic book covers, especially Plato and Aristotle. I wanted to find the cover of Plato's Republic from college. Some I liked. Some I didn't.…

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200: Caspar Craven, part 1: Sailing to the head of the corporation

Caspar leads a fulfilling life and helps people do the same. What's his expertise? How has he found purpose more than others? Why do corporations book him to help them with morale? He sailed around the world with his family. He lived a comfortable corporate life. He didn't have to do something out of the mainstream and independent. It forced them to figure out their narrative and purpose. Since most people don't challenge themselves that way, they don't learn about themselves so much. Were his choices easy? No, he had to figure it out by acting, no different than anyone else. His leaving the corporate world made him more valuable for the corporate world. Anyone can do it. Few do. It's like environmental leadership. Anyone…

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199: Be Fruitful and Multiply: What Does It Mean?

I've learned in leading that you can lead people best when you meet them where they are. That means speaking their language and understanding their perspective. Many people I talk to take their cues from the Bible, including guidance on how to act regarding the environment. Among them, the term stewardship plays a key role. A steward is one who manages another's property, finances, or other affairs. Everyone views and means things uniquely, but I understand them to mean the world and everything living on it, if we steward them, they aren't ours, but we steward them for both the true owner and future generations so they can enjoy and steward them for their future generations. This episode explores the source of stewardship as an…

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199: Be Fruitful and Multiply: What Does It Mean? transcript

I've learned in leading that you can lead people best when you meet them where they are. That means speaking their language and understanding their perspective. Many people I talk to take their cues from the Bible, including guidance on how to act regarding the environment. Among them, the term stewardship plays a key role. A steward is one who manages another's property, finances, or other affairs. Everyone views and means things uniquely, but I understand them to mean the world and everything living on it, if we steward them, they aren't ours, but we steward them for both the true owner and future generations so they can enjoy and steward them for their future generations. Again, everyone reaches his or her views in his…

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See me speak on Initiative at the New York Public Library, THIS THURSDAY

In two days I'm speaking at the Science, Industry, and Business Library branch of the New York Public Library on my book, Initiative. The logistics: 6pm to 7:30pm188 Madison Avenue (34th St and Madison Ave)Conference room 018 Here's the event description from the official announcement: Want a proven method to bring your passions to life and work? Look no more.   People everywhere in all walks of life feel stuck in their work, hobbies, and social lives, but they see the alternatives as too big and challenging, so they endure just bearable limits. We celebrate entrepreneurship in top-rated television shows, magazines, movies, and biographies, but fewer and fewer people are actually starting companies. What has gone wrong, and how can we break free and take…

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198: Brandon Voss, part 1: Negotiate Like Your Life Depends On It

Brandon loves negotiation and teaching it. He learned from the top in the field and practices it apparently 24/7. We start our conversation by covering negotiation as developed by an FBI hostage negotiator---Chris, his father. More than the family nature of their business or the FBI basis of his training and technique, I enjoyed his educational approach to negotiation. Brandon wants to help you improve. Keep in mind, his view of negotiation is not the mainstream view where you just use tricks to defeat your counterparty under high-stakes tension. Listeners who have read my books or taken my courses, or know and appreciate what I call Method Learning, will hear that Brandon's teaching technique is like mine: you learn from practicing the basics. The conversation…

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197: Polarization, communication, and education

Everybody talks about political polarization, the communication messes this nation and world are in, and how people who disagree can't talk to each other any more, so we can't resolve conflict. I do it too---that is, get into conversations where I shut down meaningful communication---though less than before, telling me that we can learn to communicate effectively. I've learned tremendously the times I've reversed that trend---that is, to listen to people I disagree with. I learn from them, probably more than I learn from people I disagree with. Today's episode covers an interaction within a community of people formed to increase dialog. Even in a community for that purpose, I find them not knowing what to do about it, even augmenting the problem. One of…

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196: Seth Shelden, part 1: Nuclear Weapons, the Environment, and the Nobel Prize

When I studied physics and spent time in universities, I met a lot of Nobel laureates. Physics is Nobel heavy so Columbia physics connected me to 3. Other science departments led me to another 1 or 2. The business school led me to another. Seth Shelden and ICAN---the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons---won the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize "for its work to draw attention to the catastrophic humanitarian consequences of any use of nuclear weapons and for its ground-breaking efforts to achieve a treaty-based prohibition of such weapons" Their goal is a UN treaty like the one to ban land mines for nuclear weapons. After forming in 2007, 2 years before tomorrow, July 7, they achieved, with the help of many others, The Treaty…

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195: How it feels to live more sustainably than mainstream

People ask me if I worry or lose sleep from my environmental habits in a world where most people pollute profligately and unnecessarily. In this post I try to illustrate by analogy how it feels. How would you feel if you were magically transported to the 50s or 60s and most people smoked and drove cars with no safety equipment but they all considered it normal? Or to 1850 Alabama and someone offered you products made by slave labor? Here are the results to a search on "Mountain Dew teeth," to which I refer in the audio. This click is safe, it's just text search results, but you may want to prepare yourself before clicking from there to images or videos, except that you see…

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Freedom: Zero Inbox

I don't mean to make light of the freedom people fought and died for, but I reached an empty inbox for the first time in I don't know how long today and it feels like freedom and liberation. Here's a screen shot of my mail reader: Launching Initiative put my inbox count into triple digits, including many detailed messages about complicated relationships. But July 4 is about freedom and I made it. EDIT: I found and updated this post of mine, First empty inbox in at least a year!. Today may mark my first empty inbox in two and a half years, though I may have not marked one in between.

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The joy of (not) flying, a poem

I don't remember the last time I wrote a poem. A group I spoke to recently gave me a book of poems on the environment, pictured below, and I didn't have the presence of mind to decline it, as I try to with most material gifts. Reading it led me to think in poetry, or to try to express myself with it. I'd feel vulnerable sharing with the public something personal, raw, and unrehearsed, but I live by my practice that I have low standards the first time, meaning I don't judge early tries. I prefer motivating trying. So below is my first attempt at poetry in decades. I don't pretend it's quality work, only that I did it. If I keep at it, I'll…

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194: Tom Murphy, part 2: Author of one of the best sites on the internet

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tom's Do The Math blog is one of the best site on internet. If you measure a site by how much it can improve a reader's life and human society, I challenge you to find one with greater potential. A couple peers include Low Tech magazine and Sustainable Energy Without the Hot Air, which is a book that you can download for free. Tom makes the physics behind the environment and our interaction with it simple and accessible. If you don't like math, well, it's the language of nature, so it's important to understand what's happening in nature. But even so, the point of collecting data and calculating results isn't for the sake of the math.…

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193: Tim Smit, part 2: Spirituality and Passion from the Earth

From our first conversation you know Tim's history as a musician and founder of the Eden Project. This time you'll hear the passion of a man who loves restoring the Earth's ability to sustain life and human society. He talks about the spirituality of his work, connecting to the Earth, eating, and growing. For city dwellers like most of us, he shares the potential for that connection available to all of us. We have to take the steps, but the emotionally rewarding results are there. As you listen to this episode about food, plants, land, connection, community, and many things wholesome, I recommend contrasting Tim's world with, say, Facebook or Doritos. In my experience, they disperse community, make connections superficial, and plasticize nature to create…

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Health and Human Services Facts and Statistics

I prefer posting original work, but I stumbled on this page from the U.S. federal government's Health and Human Services' President's Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition Physical Activity Only one in three children are physically active every day.1Less than 5% of adults participate in 30 minutes of physical activity each day;2 only one in three adults receive the recommended amount of physical activity each week.3Only 35 — 44% of adults 75 years or older are physically active, and 28-34% of adults ages 65-74 are physically active.4More than 80% of adults do not meet the guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities, and more than 80% of adolescents do not do enough aerobic physical activity to meet the guidelines for youth.5In 2013, research found adults…

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See me speak on Initiative at the New York Public Library, July 11

I'm speaking at the Science, Industry, and Business Library branch of the New York Public Library on my book, Initiative. The logistics: 6pm to 7:30pm188 Madison Avenue (34th St and Madison Ave)Conference room 018 Here's the event description from the official announcement: Want a proven method to bring your passions to life and work? Look no more.   People everywhere in all walks of life feel stuck in their work, hobbies, and social lives, but they see the alternatives as too big and challenging, so they endure just bearable limits. We celebrate entrepreneurship in top-rated television shows, magazines, movies, and biographies, but fewer and fewer people are actually starting companies. What has gone wrong, and how can we break free and take the lead in…

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Eye See You portraits by Genevieve Kim

Genevieve Kim invited me to participate in her Eye See You project, a global project to photograph 1,000 strangers as a practice of seeing and being seen, in collaboration with The Assemblage NoMad (where we met), Ubuntu Market, Melissa Galeria, Invisible Technologies, BURNT, The Munchies Table and photographers around the world. Self-taught in photography, Genevieve has had her work appear in the NY Times, AdWeek, MOZAIC, Business Insider, UN Habitats and other publications. She says about the project, "More than a face, I want to know your story," which described the process. The shoot and interactions leading up to it were about sharing stories, which, I think, went into how she took the pictures. I'm honored to participate. Click here for all her portraits in…

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My TEDx talk coaching

The organizers invited me to speak at TEDx with less than two weeks to prepare so for those two weeks I worked as much as I could. (Here's the video if you missed it before.) https://youtu.be/Qb3nwRZmKBo Preparation I hired a coach, John Bates of Executive Speaking Success, to help prepare and I'm glad I did. He had experience giving TEDx talks, with the TED/TEDx community, and with coaching people on it. He offered a useful online course and we met several times by video. He recorded the coaching calls so I could review my performance, which helped. Below are our coaching calls. I don't pretend they're thrilling, but you may find them useful when you prepare for an important talk. You may also learn about…

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192: Laura Coe, part 1: Emotional Obesity and Environmental Obesity

Laura and I go back a few years, from being on her podcast. We talk about her concept of emotional obesity: a parallel between physical health and emotional health. I find it a rich analogy on many levels. Characteristics of addiction to food that cause obesity resemble thoughts that cause emotional obesity. She describes her concept in more detail, but I find most helpful about it that it enables you to make yourself emotionally healthy in the ways you make yourself physically healthy. You'll note the parallels in problem and solution as she describes it. Think of thoughts you kick yourself with. If your friend said those things you'd leave that friend. Yet we keep doing it, unable to see that we can stop it.…

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Adventures that don’t cost anything

I'm pleased to appear on Dan Zehner's Anthem of the Adventurer podcast. In a refreshing diversion from most of my recent podcast appearances, we talk about adventure, challenge, growth, and how to create them. Click to his site or listen below: His notes describe our conversation well: Episode Summary Today, we talk with Josh Spodek, who lives a life full of adventure while teaching at NYU. He's got some amazing ideas on how to incorporate adventure into your life without spending any money at all! Episode Notes I really enjoyed talking with Josh, and his personal statement on his blog just shows him best: I do what I love in life and do my best to cut out what I don't. Loving what you do…

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I got sunburned and dehydrated today. The elite college president I spoke to Friday could learn from my experience.

I met some friends in Central Park today -- teammates I went to college nationals with in 1989 -- to throw a disc around. I started walking there from my place in Greenwich Village just past noon. We tossed until about 3:30, then I went food shopping (at the 4th Street Coop), and walked home from the Lower East Side. It was in the low 80s and sunny. I put on sunscreen, though not enough to avoid a burn. I also didn't drink water until I was nearly home, in Washington Square Park, about 4pm. I wore a tank top so my sunburn matched this pattern, though not this intense. That means I was in the sun and heat, sweating for 4 hours with no…

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Diversity doesn’t mean just the diversity you’re thinking of

People say they value diversity. Business school leadership classes taught me that diversity of opinions in decision-making processes led to better outcomes, though the diversity introduced into that process produced divisive conflict. I didn't ask the professors for the research they based their teaching on, but it's consistent with my experience. But there is a greater issue than that conflict. I suggest to people things like, "If you want diversity, you'll also have to include Trump voters." They react nearly with horror: "I don't want someone on my team like that. Or in my life." "Why not? You wanted diversity." "Yeah, but they're just wrong." The irony of calling someone wrong to reject them as diverse never seems to strike anyone. I'm not sure how…

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