My series answering the New York Times' Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with "Can We Disinherit Our Addicted Son?". Our son has been a heroin addict for 10 years. He has drifted in and out of homelessness and prison. We have spent a fortune on rehab, counseling, legal fees and more, which changed nothing. We love our son, but we have also painfully learned that he is an inveterate liar, will steal anything not nailed down and has an incredible capacity for manipulation. We are in the process of updating our wills to reflect this reality, and we are struggling to articulate a fair plan as to inheritances. Our other children are living normal, happy, productive…

My series answering the New York Times' Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with "What Do I Owe My Severely Disabled Parents?". A little over two years ago, my family was involved in a catastrophic car accident overseas. My younger sibling was killed, and my parents survived but are severely disabled. My father is quadriplegic, while my mother has a traumatic brain injury resulting in severe cognitive impairment. My spouse and I were overseas for several months with my parents before they stabilized and were evacuated back to the United States. Then, over the next year (we don't live in the same city) we traveled to their city often to help manage transitions from the hospital to…

My series answering the New York Times' Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with "Should I Stay at a Lab That Makes Animals Suffer?". I am an undergraduate researcher in a university-affiliated biology lab. The research we are doing involves subjecting many mice to disease, suffering and death. I haven't interacted with the mice directly, but I use their serum in my experiments. The thought of animals suffering for the data we produce really bothers me; I am vegan for ethical reasons. My only justification is that the research we do will hopefully provide disease prevention in the future. However, I don't know if that is enough considering the slim chance of developing a therapy and the…

My series answering the New York Times' Ethicist column with an active, leadership approach instead of an analytical, philosophical perspective continues with "Can I Trick My Brain-Damaged Brother Into Taking His Meds?". My older brother suffered a serious brain injury about 10 years ago. His communication skills were hard-hit. He understands some of what people say as long as they speak slowly, but even then concepts are hard and reasoning with him can be difficult. He was quite brilliant before the injury, and he understands that his brain can no longer do what it once did. To make matters even sadder, he has psychological problems that have never been properly addressed. Both my dad and I learned we had bipolar disorder late in life. We…