Awareness

Why does nearly everyone reject Gandhi’s advice?

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / Leadership

Why does nearly everyone reject Gandhi’s advice?

Michael Jackson's song, Man in the Mirror, got stuck in my head: I'm starting with the man in the mirrorI'm asking him to change his waysAnd no message could have been any clearerIf you wanna make the world a better placeTake a look at yourself and then make a change It's clear: If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. I know of nearly no one taking this advice. Everyone instead chooses to live by something like: if you want to make the world a better place, complain about what governments, corporations, and billionaires do and say what you do doesn't matter, so keep doing what causes the problem. I can understand dismissing…

October 17, 2021

The two biggest chips on my shoulder

Awareness / Nonjudgment

The two biggest chips on my shoulder

Since sharing my September 11 experience on the podcast, I lost $10 million on September 11, 2001. Here is what I learned from those who sacrificed and served, I've shared my story of loss with friends and family. As I have for twenty years, I hedged describing that loss with the context of those who died, those who volunteered to put themselves in harm's way with the intent to defend freedom (even if thwarted by their leaders), and their families. I shared that I was saved from dwelling on my sorrow by my need to pay my mortgage and eat. I had foregone most of my salary. Before Submedia, I lived on a graduate student stipend in Manhattan, meaning nearly no savings. I got a…

September 17, 2021

Clawing back: 4,951 meters in 20 minutes. 49 to go.

Awareness / Fitness / Habits / Stories

Clawing back: 4,951 meters in 20 minutes. 49 to go.

I exercise on a five-day rotation between lifting, resting, and cardio so months with 31 days give me an extra rest day to experiment. This time I decided to try to recapture my nearly five-year-old achievement of 5,000 meters in 20 minutes on the rowing machine, which means averaging 2:00/500m for 20 minutes. A well-trained man in his 20s or 30s could do it easily. A serious competitor might not count it as a warm-up. My turning 50 next month makes it a more serious goal, though many men older than me could do it easily. Still, a meaningful achievement. Before starting, I ate a light breakfast, went to the bathroom (several times, as a function of the fiber in my diet and my nerves),…

June 5, 2021

You Can’t Think More Complex Than Interruptions Allow

Awareness / Creativity

You Can’t Think More Complex Than Interruptions Allow

Talking to a friend about meditating, after I said something, he made me repeat it so he could write it down. He told me to post it. Here it is: If you get interrupted every nine minutes, you can't come up with an idea complex enough to require ten minutes uninterrupted thinking. In other words: If you get interrupted every nine minutes, you'll never come up with an idea that takes ten minutes thought. I may have posted the concept to this blog before, but it bears repeating. This concept applied to writing my book: Six periods of writing ten minutes each doesn't equal an hour of writing. I have to get into the right mindset, which may take twenty minutes. In that case.

March 28, 2021

3 Meditation Updates

Awareness / Fitness / Habits

3 Meditation Updates

About ten months in to meditating 20 minutes two days out of my five-day exercise cycle, a few updates. I last updated in November on my full lotus pose. Practice is making it more comfortable. Here's my post with the video of me in the pose. You may have noticed my sitting on a folded towel on a folded sheet. Here's me, about to sit on the folded towel on the folded sheet, from the video: You probably know I don't like creating demand for material stuff, so I've been checking Craigslist for months for a used meditation cushion at a reasonable price. At last, I found someone selling a cushion and pad for forty dollars, so more than a towel, but cheaper than new…

March 11, 2021

Why do we end sentences with “and stuff” and “or something”?

Awareness / Habits

Why do we end sentences with “and stuff” and “or something”?

Maybe from the podcasting, maybe from writing, maybe from my general interest in self-awareness and preferring to do things deliberately, not thoughtlessly. We all know about filler words and sounds like "umm," "like," "so," and "and." I'm not sure why we use them. Lately I've started trying to reduce them, which takes concentration, so therefore distracts from speaking and listening. I've been asking myself lately why we end sentence with "and stuff" and "or something." Have you noticed doing it or hearing others? I'm not just asking out of whimsy. I believe paying attention closely enough, we can sense ever more subtle motivations, which reveal more about ourselves. The more we can move from thoughtless reflex and reactivity to reflection and thought, the more we…

February 20, 2021

Is the best book on pollution and depletion a picture book you can finish in a sitting?

Art / Awareness / My Favorite Posts / Nature / Pollution and Depletion / Visualization

Is the best book on pollution and depletion a picture book you can finish in a sitting?

I've read a lot of books on nature. Most focus on facts, figures, and information that don't help. To the extent they provoke emotion, they do so heavyhandedly, lacking genuineness or authenticity. If you're explaining, you're losing, as a former U. S. President said, and most books on nature explain. I just finished a book, Over, which you can review online in its entirety for free. It's mostly a book of photographs. By aesthetic standards like composition, color, line, and form, the photographs are beautiful. Like many great works of art, it says something I knew but in a way I didn't know it could be said. It illuminates my understanding of myself, what human means, nature, beauty, and purpose-level parts of life. By measures…

February 3, 2021

The cruel misunderstanding of “poor today live like kings of yesterday”

Awareness / Relationships

The cruel misunderstanding of “poor today live like kings of yesterday”

You've heard the concept that poor people today, with cell phones, large TVs, computers, and so on live beyond the fantasies of kings. Here are a few headlines among many articles. Today's Poor Live Like Kings Compared to the Poor Just 100 Years AgoWe live like kings (opening sentence: "It suddenly occurred to me yesterday morning as I was getting dressed, listening to the radio, that we today live like kings did in olden times.")The poor in America live like kings by other country's standards. They talk about material possessions. Maybe medicine. You've also heard people suggest the exercise of what you'd want your gravestone to say or for people to say about you after you die. For all the joking that whoever dies with…

November 8, 2020

What do you think, feel, and do when you see an addicted person?

Awareness / Nonjudgment / Perception

What do you think, feel, and do when you see an addicted person?

I see more people in my neighborhood, especially my neighborhood park---Washington Square Park---addicted to I don't know what. My whole life, I've never been far from seeing addiction. I don't think I've known anyone uncontrollably addicted. Lately, in my daily picking up litter from the northwest corner of Washington Square Park, regulars there have started conversations with me. Our longest conversation lasted about thirty to forty-five minutes. One guy made a point to point out how many people there are at the end of their lines and that you can't imagine being there without having experienced. I don't know where the relationships will lead, if anywhere. What do you think when you see or talk to someone addicted to, say, heroin or crack? I don't…

October 24, 2020

Would you describe these abs as chiseled?

Awareness / Fitness / Habits / SIDCHAs

Would you describe these abs as chiseled?

Call me vain or unprofessional if you want, but I'm sharing the results of my recent decision to reach a fitness goal I've meant to work on for years, maybe decades. Call me self-obsessed if you want for how many words follow, but the journey has been for more enlightening, satisfying, and delicious than I expected. For context, as a child I felt ashamed enough from being teased for excess fat that I would wear a t-shirt at the beach and pool. In high school I started sports, though not seriously, but friends commented on my becoming more fit. In college and beyond I competed at the nationals and worlds level in ultimate Frisbee, a demanding and highly active sport. I loved competing and discovering…

September 2, 2020

2020 in 9 words: “Everybody wants to be heard and nobody is listening.”

2020 in 9 words: “Everybody wants to be heard and nobody is listening.”

The title says it all. The words came out in conversation the other day. As I said them, they seemed remarkably accurate and poignant. I searched on the words and found no results. Everybody wants to be heard and nobody is listening. People are saying, "we're all in this together," "how are you holding up," "stay safe," and other repetitive phrases, but to my mind, this phrase captures this moment. Maybe you see otherwise, but from reactions to the virus to George Floyd to the elections to Black Lives Matter to you name it, everyone seems to want to say something they consider important---often the final word on the matter, at least in their opinion---but no one seems to want to make others feel heard…

July 23, 2020

“Do men have emotions?”, she asked.

Awareness / Models / Perception / Relationships

“Do men have emotions?”, she asked.

I gave a book on men and how men experience the world to my girlfriend at the time, maybe five or ten years ago. After reading it, she asked me, "Do men have emotions?" Apparently she thought men didn't have emotions. In fact, she clarified, "I thought men just did things." I'm glad she asked if she didn't know. I was surprised she didn't. For context, she had graduated a top university and was preparing for graduate school, which she has since graduated from. She wasn't holed away in a monastery. You would have seen her as a regular person. The mind reels at what could have created this situation and its ramifications. For what created this situation, what about our educational system and culture…

July 18, 2020

Frederick Douglass: “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?”

Awareness / Freedom / Habits / Nature

Frederick Douglass: “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?”

I recently reread Frederick Douglass's What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?, which he delivered on July 5, 1852---a celebrated condemnation of slavery by a man born a slave when it was legal in this country. You'll do yourself a favor to read it if you haven't recently. Here's the passage where he turns the corner from praising the nation: I am not included within the pale of this glorious anniversary! Your high independence only reveals the immeasurable distance between us. The blessings in which you, this day, rejoice, are not enjoyed in common. — The rich inheritance of justice, liberty, prosperity and independence, bequeathed by your fathers, is shared by you, not by me. The sunlight that brought life and healing to…

July 4, 2020

Signs of hope

Awareness / Leadership / Models / Nature

Signs of hope

Frankly, I don't see many signs of hope for us to handle the environment. Walking around my neighborhood, I'd say maybe 20 percent of people are wearing masks. Bars and restaurants are packing people within six feet of each other. Headlines about Texas, Florida, and Arizona show people's cavalier attitudes leading to opinion over nature. Still, here are a few signs of hope. Ozone: humanity banded together to ban CFCs. We took decades to do it, but who were the doomsayers who got it all wrong? Those who said we couldn't do it. CVS cigarettes: the chain chose to stop selling its most profitable product based on principle. Most criticized them, but they ended up succeeding. Again, the doomsayers who got it wrong were the…

June 25, 2020

My reflection on an exercise assigned me: Drinking a Hot Beverage Without Judgment

steam, rising, from, cup, hot, tea

Awareness / Exercises / Nonjudgment / Perception

My reflection on an exercise assigned me: Drinking a Hot Beverage Without Judgment

A friend recommended to me an exercise I hadn't heard of. It sounds like the Three Raisins exercise I learned from Jon Kabat-Zinn, included in my leadership book, and assign in my leadership class. She didn't explain much about it, but my experience with experiential exercises told me that doing it would reveal more than any explanation. The exercise The instructions: Drink a hot beverage and when I think judgmental thoughts like, "it's too hot" or "it's too strong", switch to thinking descriptive thoughts. The instructions didn't suggest much to expect, but it didn't look too hard either. I just finished the exercise. What I did Since I drink nearly only water, I didn't know what to drink. I went to the kitchen figuring I'd…

May 23, 2020

Science discovering “tastes good” versus “wanting more”

Audio / Awareness / Perception

Science discovering “tastes good” versus “wanting more”

Have you noticed the difference between something tasting good---that you like the sensation---versus wanting more---that it motivates you to eat more, though doesn't always taste good? If the nuance sounds foreign, I've written on it several times. I use it to illustrate the difference between craving and emotional reward. In my experience, the difference seems subtle until you get it. Then it's huge. Emotional reward improves life, craving enables others to control you, among other differences. Here are some of my posts on it: Tastes Good versus Want More, explored in depth "Want to eat more" and "tastes good" aren't the same feeling Examples of "tastes good" versus "want more" Avoid that addictive tug People study this difference. They usually use scientific terms, which I…

May 8, 2020

Do you research how much water certain produce requires to grow?

Awareness / Nature

Do you research how much water certain produce requires to grow?

Someone asked on a message board, "Do you research how much water certain produce requires to grow?" I responded: Yes. At the beginning, when I felt obligated to act and it felt a burden, I avoided learning new things, feeling if I kept learning, there'd be nothing left and I'd feel guilty eating anything.As I practiced more, met the farmers behind my CSAs and farmers markets, and learned how delicious all fruits and vegetables are, I came to act out of love and passion. Like an artist, attention to detail emerged as joyful. Now I love learning more about everything I eat.The result keeps bringing me back to more local foods. Yes, in New York in March that means I've coming off months with few…

March 31, 2020

Covid advice applies to the environment. What we can do here we can do everywhere.

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / Nature

Covid advice applies to the environment. What we can do here we can do everywhere.

EDIT: I recommend everyone watch these videos on preventing pandemics including COVID-19, considering how much our behavior is causing them: Pandemics: History & PreventionCan we stop a future pandemic? Dr. Michael Greger M.D explains what's next. My mom suggested a post from a woman, Jodi Ettenberg, who posts as Legalnomad, I'M IN THE VULNERABLE CLASS FOR COVID-19. A PLEA TO TAKE THIS VIRUS SERIOUSLY. First, if it doesn't go without saying, I recommend you follow the guidelines of the most knowledgeable people and organizations on the virus. I am not one of them so seek them out. I'm sure you already know that advice, but making sure anyway. I'm commenting on what I see could help humanity beyond this situation. I'll copy here advice from…

March 14, 2020

One way to lower white supremacists’ appeal

Awareness / Nonjudgment / Perception / Tips

One way to lower white supremacists’ appeal

Why am I writing so much about white males? Partly because I am one but live in a society that denigrates and silences the group. When I read about people in other groups exploring their accidents of birth---their skin color, sex, sexual preference, geographic origin---society seems to celebrate them. My city hosts parades for many groups. Does anyone wonder how much it would accept a white male parade? I expect the media field day would destroy the careers of anyone seriously proposing it. Would you take it seriously? Would you expect it to fill with white supremacists and neo-Nazis? Would you say white men are already celebrated and don't need a parade? Anyway, my introspection and exploration is secondary. As much as I refuse to…

February 23, 2020

The project I assigned myself following up my posts on white men

Awareness / Models / Nonjudgment / Perception / Psychology Today

The project I assigned myself following up my posts on white men

Yesterday's post Update on automatic thoughts people connect with straight white men culminated with a couple questions I found intriguing: Imagine if your entire life, every time you said you suffered, people said, "actually that's an example of you causing others to suffer."How would that affect your life? and: Imagine every time you said you worked hard at something, people said, "actually that's an example of how easy your life is."How would that affect your life? My recent conversations revealed them. I've started thinking about them. No one I spoke to answered them. As best I can tell, answering them would take empathy, imagining yourself in other people's shoes, and putting yourself in the background. From my perspective, I would value hearing someone speculate on…

February 22, 2020

Update on automatic thoughts people connect with straight white men

Awareness / Models / Nonjudgment / Perception / Psychology Today

Update on automatic thoughts people connect with straight white men

Last month I asked "What automatic thoughts come to you when you think of straight white men?". I also explored the topic with Psychology Today's Editor-at-Large, Hara Estroff Marano, in an audio recording for a piece there, White Men and Preconceived Notions. A white man Some updates. . . First, context. However obvious, I'll still say that the following is a personal account with all the biases of someone just talking to the people he came across in a month, not trying for a representative sample or to account for biases. My goal was to explore life, not publish in a peer-reviewed journal. Everyone seems to go through stages talking about race. First they seem to shy away from it. Then something changes, I believe…

February 21, 2020

Psychology Today: White Men and Preconceived Notions

Audio / Awareness / Models / Nonjudgment / Perception / Psychology Today

Psychology Today: White Men and Preconceived Notions

Psychology Today's Editor at Large, Hara Estroff Marano, and I continue our conversations on challenging topics. Today we continue with white men and preconceived notions of us. We were talking about topics before hitting record, I started to describe the pattern that comes up a few minutes into this recording, she lit up in the way someone who has thought about something and has something to say about it does, so we picked stereotypes of white men. Here's the article. Here's the recording: https://youtu.be/HKjrnnOd-jc I think we both thought, "I hope we don't get fired," but also felt, "how can we learn if we don't speak?", so we bit the bullet and recorded. I haven't heard a conversation like it before. The number of threads…

February 17, 2020

What automatic thoughts come to you when you think of straight white men?

Awareness / Nonjudgment / Perception

What automatic thoughts come to you when you think of straight white men?

Comedians joke about stereotypes. People laugh when the jokes resonate with something in their heads. Everyone is unique, but as far as I can tell, many of thoughts of groups' stereotypes come to mind automatically. I'm not sure if we can choose any thoughts. Here is an example of Larry David joking about Jewish stereotypes: https://youtu.be/uGkLjfPWqeI Here is an example of David Chappelle joking about black and white stereotypes: https://youtu.be/wJ4B7G8Rw3Q I searched online and found a couple top lists of stereotypes, which I'll quote below. Many people have automatic thoughts when seeing other people, often based on their skin color, gender, and sexual orientation. You are probably familiar with the stereotypes Larry David and David Chappelle referenced, even if you don't think them. You're probably…

January 27, 2020

Why record temperatures matter

Awareness / Nature

Why record temperatures matter

The temperature in New York City hit 65F (18C) earlier this month. This week's forecast predicts highs in the 40s every day but one---higher than the historic average high of 38F. The following conclusion should be obvious, I would think, and lead people to change their behavior big and soon. Somehow people aren't acting, or are acting minimally. So what's the problem? 45F is more comfortable than 38F. When the temperature hits the 60s, people go out and enjoy themselves, as they do in the spring. Everybody likes spring weather. The problem with record-setting high temperatures is that enough of them for years give credence to the climate models that predicted them. The problem with credence in those models is what they predict beyond this…

January 26, 2020

My thoughts from when the alarm goes off

Awareness / Habits / Perception / SIDCHAs

My thoughts from when the alarm goes off

I love my sidcha to wake up, make my bed, cross the room, and turn off my alarm within sixty seconds. Loving the sidcha doesn't mean I love every moment of it. On the contrary, the first few moments of it feel the same as they always have. I start with the same thoughts. Over the years, my inner monologue has come to change to purposeful enthusiasm faster. But I want to clarify: I'm the same as anyone. I don't like the feeling of an alarm waking me up. I want to stay in bed, especially in the winter, when my apartment is cool and my comforter keeps me warm. My thoughts go something like this: Oh no, what is that noise? . . .…

January 17, 2020

End of content

No more pages to load