Awareness

Origins: of me and teaching leadership

Art / Awareness / Education / Freedom / Nonjudgment / Relationships / Visualization

Origins: of me and teaching leadership

My reasons for teaching leadership experientially today are mainly To enable people to create meaning, value, importance, purpose, and passion in their lives and in the lives of people around them Because the challenges the next several generations will face require changing behavior on a global scale, which are social and emotional challenges, not technical, and I hope to help create a community of people with the skills to overcome these challenges but why I do it today isn't why I started. Why I Felt Attracted to Leadership I remember the first time I saw Nurse Ratched, from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, named as one of the top villains in movies (#5 in the American Film Institute's ranking, two spots below Darth Vader…

September 11, 2016

Awareness / Nature

Everybody cares about the environment until they want to see the Eiffel Tower

If you want to turn anyone into a know-it-all who thinks they have a PhD in nutrition, tell them your eating habits and they'll show off how much they know. If you want to make someone forget about supply and demand, personal responsibility, accountability, and causality, point out how much flying in planes affects the environment. They'll give you foolish nonsense about how the plane was going to fly anyway, how one day planes will be solar, and other nonsense serving only two purposes: 1. They want to sleep at night despite knowing they're contributing more to global warming and pollution than nearly anyone who has ever lived Of the roughly 100 billion people who have ever lived, if you've flown across an ocean, you…

September 7, 2016

Awareness / Fitness

The danger of letting your starting point become your goals

The words of A Nation At Risk, a U.S. education policy document from 1983 have stuck with me through the years: we find that for too many people education means doing the minimum work necessary for the moment, then coasting through life on what may have been learned in its first quarter. But this should not surprise us because we tend to express our educational standards and expectations largely in terms of "minimum requirements." ... In some metropolitan areas basic literacy has become the goal rather than the starting point. It's easy to let the minimum become the goal rather than the starting point. Yesterday I played a couple games of ultimate. The temperature hit the 90s and I played more than I had in…

August 14, 2016

Awareness / Leadership

Charles Barkley’s painful lesson in being himself

Speaking authentically is a key task of leadership. People will doubt you if you can't. Charles Barkley is one of my role models for speaking authentically. While he spoke and acted authentically his whole career, I believe he changed markedly after handling the incident where he spit in the direction of heckling attendees and hit a girl. Until then, he could reasonably suggest you could see his incidents of bar fights and gambling from a perspective that justified his words or actions. Here he couldn't. His own mother and grandmother called him wrong. I think many people would have folded under the pressure and come out broken, bitter, self-righteous, or the like. Instead he learned. I believe the video below showed that he resolved his…

July 7, 2016

“I don’t know which I like more: a juicy, ripe peach in season, or the rest of the universe”

Awareness / Fitness / Nature / Perception

“I don’t know which I like more: a juicy, ripe peach in season, or the rest of the universe”

After the peach I just ate, I don't know which I like more: a juicy, ripe peach in season, or the rest of the universe. I can't believe people eat candy and junk when fruit and vegetables exist in the world. I used to, so if I think about it I can understand it, but I don't want to any more. Not after letting my taste buds heal from the damage Kraft, Frito-Lay, and so on inflicted on them and came to appreciate freshness, ripeness, and in-seasonness. The flavor in a peach, plum, pear, collard green, cabbage, and other things I eat with no more preparation than washing is shocking, in the best way. Dandelion greens and mustard greens I almost can't keep in my…

July 5, 2016

Awareness / Fitness / Habits / Inc.com / Tips

Get to Know This Emotional Cycle: It Will Improve Your Life

My Inc.com article yesterday, "Get to Know This Emotional Cycle: It Will Improve Your Life" began Get to Know This Emotional Cycle: It Will Improve Your Life Healthy, active, productive activities are often hard to start. Learn this cycle to identify when to use your willpower to help. Yesterday was rowing day. It was also the first hot, humid, sticky day in New York City. I didn't feel like doing it. I could think of dozens of things I'd rather do. Unlike those guys in the picture, I row indoors on a machine. I stuck with my plan, though, with my usual trick: changing into my workout clothes, an easy action, knowing what would happen next. Eventually my mind said, "I'm in the workout clothes.…

June 30, 2016

I know not to but I still give unsolicited advice

I've written on the perils of giving advice to people who haven't asked for it, in "On giving unsolicited advice" and "14 proven ways to make you and people around you miserable," for example. Still, every now and then I feel like this one time my advice will help this person. I've been through what they have. They'll appreciate my help. I'll indulge myself and give them advice. It blows up on me most of the time. I relearn what I wrote before: A friend asked, "Do you like to give unsolicited advice?" I said, "When I want to annoy people and have them tell me to mind my business." Giving unsolicited advice feels like giving help superficially. It's still imposing our values on others.…

June 22, 2016

Awareness / Fitness / Nature / Perception

Have you noticed this distinction in flavors?

Most of my life, I've liked eating apples and I've liked eating potato chips. I would say they both tasted good as a result. Doesn't wanting to eat something mean it tastes good? I'd like to suggest a subtle distinction. Actually, it's only subtle at first. After you realize it, it becomes obvious and changes how you think about food and eat. At least it did for me. It led to me eating more foods I liked and were healthy and losing taste for unhealthy foods. Apples I stand by my feeling that apples taste good. They're sweet and crisp. Note, however, that after you eat one, eating another is hard. Since the next apple tastes just like the first, we seem to have a…

June 16, 2016

Awareness / Fitness / Habits / Perception

Exercise thoughts

Exercise takes mental effort, not just physical effort. Everyone's mind handles the challenge differently, but some things are common. I find some people feel silly or awkward about their thoughts. More than any other thoughts, I think about fractions of the way finished I am. For example, a lap of Central Park is six miles. I know roughly where each mile is. The first mile is one-sixth, or about sixteen percent. The next mile is one-third, then one-half, then two-thirds, then the next marker has one-sixth left. I generally note when I pass the seventy-percent mark, since in grade school seventy percent meant passing. I also note ninety percent, since that's where you get an A. I do twenty-six burpees every day. Many burpees have…

June 15, 2016

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / Fitness / Models / Nature

The myth you believe about yourself that causes you to fail

I pointed out to a friend that he interrupted me nearly every time I spoke. He apologized and added, "I will never do it again." I believe he felt sincere when he said it, but I work in developing people and I've heard people say similar things too many times to expect he could do it. More importantly, I know the difference in mental states between saying "I will never do it again," and how you feel when you do the thing later. Psychologists call it an empathy gap and I've written about it. Sincere pledges A sincere pledge is when you say you will do something and when you say it, you mean with all your heart and mind that you will do it.…

June 14, 2016

The Beijing Sky, Ancient Rome, Mel Brooks, and personal responsibility

Awareness / Models / Nature / Visualization

The Beijing Sky, Ancient Rome, Mel Brooks, and personal responsibility

Have you seen the Beijing Sky lately? It looks more clear sometimes, but often like this: That's not fog, that's smog. We have a whole planet's worth of atmosphere, and we manage to make a city's air look like that. Beijing isn't alone. Plenty of cities around the world look the same, as you know. I couldn't help but think of it when I saw Mel Brooks lately and remembered a gag from his movie, History of the World, Part 1. The scene introduces ancient Rome and shows people in a market promoting the things history books attribute to ancient Rome. One guy is selling plumbing, which, I guess, Rome invented or made big. He shouts out: Yes, citizens, plumbing! It's the latest invention to…

June 13, 2016

Awareness / Exercises / Fitness / SIDCHAs

4,994 meters in 20 minutes

I used to like sport for winning. I still do, but no sport compares with ultimate, which I'm too old to compete in. Or rather, I know I'll get worse every year so investing effort for the future has less payoff. Now sport is about discipline, dedication, discovery, self-awareness, and things like that---switching to the second meaning of competition from the first. I've had a rowing machine for years. They give a great workout, in my opinion. Lately I've rowed for 20 or 30 minutes. My split has been dropping to the low two minutes for 500m. A couple months ago 2:00min/500m for a 20-minute row, or 5,000 meters, started looking feasible. I finish the last 4 minutes or so unsustainably fast, like 1:59min/500m, which…

May 24, 2016

Awareness / Fitness / SIDCHAs

Get to know this emotional pattern: it will improve your life

The pattern is this: You know something will help you and you want to do it You look forward to doing it in the future Just before doing it you feel like you don't want to do it Starting takes a lot of willpower Once you start you want to keep doing it After you finish you're glad you did it and find yourself feeling like in step 1 Examples include Going to the gym or general exercise Avoiding unhealthy foods Working on projects you want to work on Writing Most flow activities Cold showers or any sidcha and more The challenge is getting past step 3. If you do, you'll be glad you did. Most of the time you feel reluctant to do something…

May 21, 2016

Awareness / Freedom / Nonjudgment / Relationships

Why I like helping people discover their inhibited passions

We all have strong motivations---what I call passions. Some of us feel like we don't, but we do. Motivations that drive us our whole lives, that we can always tap for energy to do things. Some we like, others we don't. Some are solitary, others are social. One thing for everyone: our greatest passions are also our greatest vulnerabilities. Great passions enable others, if they know about them, to motivate us, or to manipulate us. Things we don't care about we can drop if others judge or laugh at us for them. Passions we can't. So most of us learn to protect these passions. We inhibit how we express and act on them, meaning we inhibit many of the things we care about most. Some…

May 19, 2016

Awareness / Fitness / Nature

Staples aren’t

I grew up thinking a food being a staple, like bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice, meant you were supposed to make them the foundations of your meals. Like pasta was the main part of your meal and you'd put sauce on it. When I ate meat I'd put meat in the sauce. Bread was the foundation for a sandwich. Rice was the foundation for meals it was in. That's what I thought, anyway. The more I cook with vegetables, fruits, and legumes, the more I realize staples don't make for great foundations for meals. Vegetables do. So do legumes like lentils and beans. Wheat, rice, potatoes, and things like that stretch your meal into more mass but not more nutrition, especially when they take the…

May 11, 2016

How not to be afraid to be yourself, Italian style

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / Exercises / Fitness / Leadership / Nature / SIDCHAs / Tips

How not to be afraid to be yourself, Italian style

The other day I was interviewed for a podcast (I'll link to it when they edit and post it). The interviewer asked me how I accomplished so much. I told him and his listeners to look up sidchas on my blog. Everyone who aspires to greatness knows the importance of building discipline, integrity, dedication, and other skills. I accomplish things by acting by my values. I practice with small challenges like daily exercise, daily writing, cold showers, and so on. Almost nobody does these things or their equivalent for them, yet they want the benefits. You have to do things to get the benefits of doing them. Well, today's post is the smallest yet activity you can do to develop such skills. I don't care…

May 7, 2016

Awareness / Leadership / Nature

Op/Ed Fridays: How travel distorts your values

My Inc.com story today, "On the Road Too Much? How Travel Warps Your Values and What To Do About It" begins On the Road Too Much? How Travel Warps Your Values and What To Do About It Everyone cares about the environment until they get on a plane Would you mind someone burning your house down if they gave you a dollar for your troubles? Would you do an activity that led youÂ to lose perspective so much that you couldn't tell the difference? This article is about values, the most important foundation of leadership, business, and relationships, or close to it.Â It's aboutÂ you doing thingsÂ you would fire your CFO for. TravelÂ leads to confusingÂ values this muchÂ by nearly everyone who travels a lot. I'll write about its effects…

May 6, 2016

Wasting less, could still waste yet less

Awareness / Freedom / Habits / Leadership / Nature

Wasting less, could still waste yet less

On January 27th I made a video about starting a new trash bag for my waste. I predicted I would take six months to fill it. With a guest staying over, we ended up filling it in just over four person-months. I think I can produce less waste, but I'm pleased with how I did so far. In no way did I feel constrained. On the contrary, I felt less confined by stuff and certainly less dirty, having less garbage around. Here's a video about it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MYxs6wAdUk Efficiency and Responsibility Why do I post about garbage? Who cares about it? Your waste affects everyone. Within your teams, you create less garbage, literally and figuratively, when you run more lean. Beyond your teams, your garbage is…

April 30, 2016

Video: What a leadership course can deliver, part 3

Awareness / Education / Exercises / Freedom / Habits / Leadership / Nonjudgment

Video: What a leadership course can deliver, part 3

Here is an interview with a student who took my online leadership course, Isabeaux, an undergraduate at NYU who hadn't taken an experiential course before, which initially threw her, before she came to find it led to more growth than she'd ever seen, despite going to an elite university. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxo-msa9dGQ Reach your potential in business and life. My courses don't take time from the rest of life. You work with people in your life that you care about on projects that you care about without distracting from the rest of your work and life. Learn more about the course and register here Read testimonials about my courses here I look forward to having you aboard.

April 28, 2016

Awareness / Fitness

Your impulses on healthy versus unhealthy activities

Healthy activities: Before, you don't want to do them. After, you feel emotional reward that you did them. Unhealthy activities: Before, you want to do them. After, you regret doing them. For healthy, think exercise, cooking a nutritious meal, helping a friend, even reading a book. For unhealthy, think putting off exercising, eating junk or even just eating too much, staying home when you could help a friend, and watching TV. Examples: I never feel like doing burpees before doing them, but I'm always glad I did. Same with cold showers and marathons. On the other side, when I felt tempted to eat donuts or sugar cereal, I'd regret it from the sickly feeling they'd leave in my mouth. I love the feeling of exhaustion…

April 15, 2016

Cabbage

Awareness / Fitness / Nature / Perception

Cabbage

If this doesn't sound like leadership and the rest of what I usually write about, it is. It's about awareness, perception, discovery, and living your life. Increasingly I see food and how you eat as fundamental to leading yourself. Cabbage is delicious! I grew up thinking it was supposed to taste bad. I thought maybe when I grew up I would "acquire the taste for it." I never bought cabbage before last year. Since joining the farm share, where I get vegetables from a nearby farm every week, I've been eating a lot more vegetables. Even when I got it last year as part of the shipment, I would steam it and make something like sauerkraut with it. I didn't know anything else to do…

April 11, 2016

Awareness / Relationships

People don’t want to argue, they want to feel understood

Over and over when I review arguments after their emotional intensity has decreased, everyone's most important motivation seems that they want to feel understood. It doesn't matter if I'm arguing or I see other people arguing. They don't even need agreement, just to feel listened to and understood. When both parties want the other to understand them first, they create an unpleasant but stable system driving them both to anger, frustration, and impatience. Both will keep explaining themselves. From a systems perspective it's so simple. Yet in the moment it's hard to get out of. Strangely, I've never found that pointing out the system helps get out of it. People get to caught up in the emotions and logic doesn't affect that emotion. Even if…

April 5, 2016

Everybody cares about the environment until they want to fly somewhere

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / My Favorite Posts / Nature / Perception

Everybody cares about the environment until they want to fly somewhere

Everyone says they care about the environment. Talk is cheap. How they behave tells you what they care about. If they choose themselves over something they say they care about, that tells you their priority. I talk a lot about how I try to avoid flying because the pollution it causes hurts people. When people talk about how much more first-worlders pollute more than others, flying contributes a lot. But talk to someone about taking fewer flights and you will get the most self-serving, fatuous reasons why pollution is not an issue for flying. Whatever it takes to deny to themselves how when people talk about how humans are destroying the environment for future generations, and now current generations, they themselves---likely you yourself, since most…

March 31, 2016

Awareness / Freedom / Models / Nature / Perception

How to use space travel to make mangoes taste better

This passage interviewing a guy who walked in space, plus some context, can help you enjoy life more, even---especially---if you can't get to space but expect you'd love the experience. From the article: In the 1960s, he says, "astronauts were celebrities. They were invited on JFK's boat. If you wanted to go to space, you had to become Neil Armstrong." Today, however, space-travel companies like Virgin Galactic and SpaceX are creating new opportunities for engineers. I imagine most people would find the Earth from space one of the most beautiful sights imaginable. Many would love being celebrities who get to hang out with Presidents. Astronauts lost their 60s status long ago. Charles Lindberg was once famous for crossing the Atlantic. So was Christopher Columbus. Thousands…

March 26, 2016

Why Entrepreneurs Are Today’s Artists (My Inc. article today)

Art / Awareness / Creativity / Entrepreneurship / Inc.com

Why Entrepreneurs Are Today’s Artists (My Inc. article today)

Read my article on Inc. today: "Why Entrepreneurs Are Today's Artists" It begins Why Entrepreneurs Are Today's Artists What is today's greatest source of creativity, expression, social change, progress, innovation, introspection, performance, determination, struggle, challenge, and even truth and beauty? Artists change how we see and think about the world. Visiting Paris's Musee D'Orsayfor the first time in twenty years made me wonder if artists today are changing how we see the world like a century ago. Manet, Monet, Degas, Cezanne, their peers,Â mentors, andÂ legacies--to pickÂ one of countless lineages--provoked discussion and debate in their time andÂ affected society and culture forever.Â The biggest debates onÂ art in my time surroundedÂ a photograph of a crucifix in urine and a portrait of theÂ virgin Mary with feces. Maybe I'm shortsighted, but today's…

March 25, 2016

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