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2013

December

31: An inspirational SIDCHA video
30: SIDCHA properties — The best tool to improve your life: the Self-Imposed Daily Challenging Healthy Activity
29: After a difficult decision affecting your team: Eisenhower and the paratroopers before D-day
28: Willpower, how to understand and use it — the series
28: Eisenhower, D-Day, and keeping teams strong while making hard choices
27: Willpower, how to understand and use it — the series
26: The number one best tool to improve your life: the Self-Imposed Daily Challenging Healthy Activity (SIDCHA)
25: Make every day a holiday
24: Cold shower — 49 degrees!
23: Eliminate guilt and blame for good — the series
22: Eliminate guilt and blame for good — the series
22: The complete simplicity of T. S. Eliot
21: Burpees — the Two Year Review!
20: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on John Wooden — one of the best basketball players on one of the best coaches
19: A simple practice to free your mind so you can focus
18: The Method: the series
17: The Model — the series
16: Hate a job you can’t leave? Improve it.
15: The Joshua Spodek podcast interview on Developed Life
14: The Method: the series
14: Adrenaline-rush activities you can do right now that beat jumping out of planes
13: Op/Ed Fridays: Is overpopulation a problem?
13: Eating cookies is easier than exercising and always will be. What to do about it.
12: “Running is bad for your knees” and other stupidity fools can’t stop spouting
11: Making changes stick by starting with emotion, then everything else
10: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Two months in Tibet
9: USA morale down because of NSA — Washington Post
8: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: For changes to stick, change both beliefs and behavior
7: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Assertiveness does not mean aggressive, domineering, or trying to influence
6: Op/Ed Fridays: Obesity and wonder drugs
5: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Common coaching topics
4: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Manage Expectations
3: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Use your teammates
2: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: Practice!
1: Coaching highlights from coaching Columbia Business School students: School protects you so you can try new things

November

30: Get leadership coaching like an Ivy League business school
30: Get leadership coaching like an Ivy League business school
29: Op/Ed Fridays: Our broken criminal justice “system”
28: Annoyed by people you can’t avoid?
27: Why choose one media source over another?
26: Burpees: unbeatable for fitness and my favorite sidcha: the series
26: Burpees — unbeatable for fitness and my best habit — the series
25: 8 harmful consequences of confusing your beliefs with reality
24: If you’re trying to solve a complex problem, write it down
23: 14 proven ways to make you and people around you miserable
22: Op/ed Fridays: A living death: laws that remove judges and juries undermine justice
21: Introversion is not the opposite of extroversion, part 2
20: Introversion is not the opposite of extroversion, part 1
20: A thought-provoking essay on how we interact with our environment
19: Undermining trust sucks
18: A few thoughts on aging
17: People who suck at things tell you how awesome they are. People who are awesome at things tell you about the disasters they went through to get their skills.
16: How to never look back at your life with regret
15: Op/Ed Fridays: Challenges in helping the planet even if you’re the world’s richest person
14: Some “problems” you want to have
13: Leading people creates community, which feels like creating your world
12: More in favor of consequences of actions undermining being judgmental
11: Communications Skills for Business and Life Series
10: Communication skills exercises for business and life
10: Coaching works.
9: The Onion, burritos, short-term pleasure, and long-term happiness and emotional reward
8: The route to quality is through quantity
7: Want to be less judgmental? Then realize “thinking positively” is as judgmental as “thinking negatively.”
6: A challenge in starting a technology company in New York City
5: “Why does the universe exist” and why I prefer living life to philosophizing about it
4: 2013 New York City Marathon plagued by injury (for me)
3: On seeing your folks
2: Convenience at what cost?
1: Op/Ed Fridays: Dating

October

31: A risk that paid off and learning from it
30: Choose easier by visualizing choices, part 2
29: Choose easier by visualizing choices, part I
28: How many Mozarts, Galileos, or Aristotles are there today?
27: You have to say no to a lot of good things to have a great life
26: The shells we put around ourselves
25: Method acting, leadership, and improving your life, from James Lipton
24: How you know when a deal is done
23: Reject every belief in my book but learn to create your own before adopting mine without learning that skill
22: The two meanings of competition
21: The problem determines the solution, not what you’re good at, not what you want to do, not what you can do.
20: Near New York City? Watch the marathon November 3!
19: Integrity in successful leaders: Gandhi cleaned toilets
18: How to lower executive pay
17: Leadership, community, and how I got Hacker News’s second-highest average karma
16: You tell me what you do best. I’ll tell you what you do worst.
15: Insensitive, compassionless people
14: A book I haven’t finished and why I recommend it
13: Three changes you’ll see in your relationships when you change yourself
12: A reader responds: A Question to Help You Intuitively Prioritize and Stop Procrastinating
11: Why don’t we ask people we care about how we can be better with them?
10: Choosing idealism in the face of contrary evidence of what works is a recipe for disaster
9: People join good projects and leave bad management
8: ReModel: Create mental models to improve your life and lead simply and effectively
7: Silent Spring
6: Some things come naturally, some don’t.
5: We all feel emotions all the time
4: New page design!
4: Redefining failure
3: How I got my web page professionally redesigned at no cost and made a friend in the process
2: My first public presentation
1: Goenka and 10-day meditation retreats

September

30: I never take responsibility for someone else’s emotions.
29: Jack Welch’s Gardening Model of Leadership
28: A doubly improved representation of Flow-related emotional states
27: Oops! Haha … did I say four miles? … Uh, I meant seven.
26: Start with emotions if you want to motivate yourself … or anyone else
25: An example of effective, understated leadership
24: Protected: Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness, September 21-22, CBSACNY page
24: “Getting the hang of” working in big companies taught me to keep starting companies
23: My start with emotional intelligence and self-awareness
22: How would you improve the world if you had supernatural powers?
21: How do you decide when your decision affects other people? Involve them in the process.
20: One of my top principles for business relationships: After the project, I want teammates glad to work with me and wanting to work with me again
19: One of my top principles for business relationships: No surprises
18: The benefit of blocked cable
17: Reminder: See my leadership seminar this weekend!
16: Twenty-one miles!
16: Healthy food mostly replaced my unhealthy food. Here’s how.
15: Encouraging reader feedback I couldn’t help but share
14: Handling life’s biggest challenges
13: I’d rather be rejected for who I am than accepted for who I’m not
12: Taking on the New Yorker on the English Major
11: People who succeeded despite adversity, part 2
10: Do you confuse a reason to do something with an excuse not to?
9: One of the most important lessons I learned in business school didn’t come from a teacher and it applies everywhere in life
8: A systems perspective on population growth
7: Experience guides us more than philosophy.
6: When did walking three miles become a health risk?
5: Advice to someone starting a long-term project
4: Everyone has insecurities. Why don’t some people seem insecure?
3: Nobody likes a know-it-all
2: An essay on money, part 2
1: A mental model on disease and dying

August

31: Just showing up can be the best strategy: One of my life’s greatest moments
30: Leadership problems today and a call to action
29: You call exercise torture? I call it glory.
28: Who is today’s King George III? Who are today’s patriots?
27: Another awesome success — Museum Hack and Nick Gray
26: More benefits of burpees
25: A model leading to “Nice Guys”
24: The false dichotomy of the nice girl and the bitch and what to do instead
23: The false dichotomy of the nice guy and the jerk and what to do instead
22: Insults describe the person giving them more than the person receiving. How you can learn from yourself when you insult.
20: Why basketball players are tall and how tyranny emerges
19: Meaningful connections and valuing friends for their values
18: Once you start composting, you can’t go back
17: The Grand Illusion — why it’s one of my favorite movies
16: See me on Leadership through Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness
15: Soreness and exhaustion feel great!
14: Writing emails from the inside out, making them more effective even if you aren’t particularly sensitive or a people person
13: You probably blow smoke in kids’ faces without realizing. You can stop.
12: A visual model to understand passion and attraction: The Passion-Attraction Model
11: How and why I made the Passion-Attraction Model graphs
10: Review and conclusions from the Passion-Attraction Model
9: Relationship risks in the Passion-Attraction Model, part 2
8: Relationship risks in the Passion-Attraction Model, part 1
7: The Passion-Attraction Model as you gain experience
6: The basic Passion-Attraction Model in one relationship
5: Introducing a new model: Passion and Attraction
4: Do you decide rationally or emotionally?
3: A counterproductive pattern of success
2: Do you want new beliefs and models?
1: A curious way to measure intimacy and an effective way to increase it

July

31: How to hate less and grow in the process, simply
30: Today’s Harvard student versus 176 years ago
29: A discussion I started last week
28: Three stages of understanding how ancient Egyptians built the pyramids
27: “That’s not art. I could do it.” — A new interpretation that activates art and yourself
26: Sometimes going the opposite way works best
25: How experience often beats creativity, originality, and intelligence
24: The risks of someone calling you smart and how to avoid them
23: When to get rid of things
22: “Sin” is a made-up concept.
21: Birthdays!
20: More ways to annoy someone you’re talking to
19: What kind of leadership is this: Obama fighting for less accountability and more centralized power
18: 120 burpees yesterday! 10,000 burpees at 2×20 per day!
17: Another reason to share your passions
16: “Why are you getting hung up on just one word?”
15: Hidden assumptions in “Jobs Americans won’t do” and systems thinking
14: Napoleon, Pasteur, and luck
13: A model to help stop acquiring stuff
12: Some things you have to do yourself
11: Things aren’t as bad as they seem when they seem worst
10: Communications skills exercise 12: Avoiding starting responses with “No,” “But,” or “However”
9: Men, women, attraction, and power
8: What are your beliefs and models?
7: Daily models and beliefs that work
6: Who or what is a Cathedral-builder and why should I care?
5: A giant rainbow over Greenwich Village
4: Restore the Fourth
3: Managing difficult teammates, managers, employees, and people
2: Morality and the development of language
1: People who succeeded despite adversity

June

30: Communication skills exercises, part 11: Quick and dirty escapes from conversation lulls
29: How failure creates success
28: A question to ask all the time: “Is this making my life better”
27: Columbia’s 2013 Commencement
26: Leadership and United States’ spying
25: “Needs as understood”: How to start sales presentations — and conversations where you want to influence someone
24: Google, strategy, and what your strategy says about you
23: A beautiful spring day
22: What is morality?
21: Why dislike patents?
20: A model for one of the most valuable skills related to beliefs
19: A model for learning potentially painful, embarrassing, challenging skills
18: More thoughts on centralized power without accountability
17: How do you know the Earth is round?
16: Communications skills exercises, part 10b: another example of voicing your self-talk
15: Video on creativity
14: Leaving LinkedIn is easy and fun
13: My main problem with centralized power without accountability
12: Ad hominem attacks are easy but counterproductive and best ignored
11: A reader’s testimonial
10: Edward Snowden — Whistleblower
9: A model that all models are flawed but inevitable
8: A model for intuition, especially in complicated times
7: A model for balancing pushing myself with enjoying life
6: A model for what improves life the most
5: A model for a great lifestyle
4: Four models on entrepreneurship that counter discouraging myths
3: A model for the mechanics of how you change your beliefs
2: A model for strategy
1: A model to make sense of complexity

May

31: A model that makes changing beliefs easier
30: A model to tolerate when people pre-judge me
29: A model to help live and let live
28: A model to identify the parts of your life most ripe for improvement
27: A model and strategy to lead people so they appreciate and thank you for being led
26: A model of emotional intelligence and self-awareness
25: A model to cover life’s basics
24: A few models that don’t improve your life that effectively
23: A model that will bring you happiness
22: A model to replace jerks with people who improve your life
21: A model for what makes a great story
20: A model that explains why your enthusiasm when planning disappears when doing
19: A model to think deeper
18: My Seminar on Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence and Self-awareness in four evening sessions starting June 17, 6:30pm-9:30pm in New York
18: A model to help you get more out of traveling and to save money traveling at the same time
17: A model to help get you in better shape
16: A model to get more sales and to stay calm under pressure
15: A model to get in fewer arguments and influence more effectively
14: A model to help accept things without judgment or feeling sorry for yourself
13: A model to live like beautiful people do
12: A model for consistency: If you miss one day you can miss two. If you miss two it’s over.
11: A model to keep from being scammed
10: A model to keep you from being manipulated by the media
9: A model to handle pain
8: A model to help you stay calm and ward off anxiety
7: Free short-term coaching from me!
7: A belief to help you let go when you want to
6: What happens when you change beliefs
5: A model to help create the life and relationships you want
4: A model to remove limits from your life
3: A model to find reward anywhere, anytime
2: A model of where value, meaning, importance, and purpose come from
1: A model to implement the answers to all of life’s most important questions

April

30: A model that answers all of life’s most important questions
29: A model for direction in leadership and personal development
28: A model to promote responsibility
27: A model to make you more intelligent and free
26: A model to simplify
25: 2013 New York City Marathon!
25: A model to avoid or overcome frustration
24: Protected: Creativity Class Handouts
24: A model to enjoy things more and promote future success
23: A model to find the best in someone, including yourself
22: A model to make problems go away
21: A model to improve your environment
20: A model on the foundation of personal freedom
19: More about becoming more creative
19: A model for living every moment to its fullest
18: A belief to promote integrity and authenticity
17: How to become more creative — proven! … Wednesday April 24, 6pm-9pm, Manhattan
17: Model to motivate putting in the effort to get good at something
16: A model to rid your life of guilt and blame in favor of getting things done
15: A model and strategy for getting things done
14: A model to prioritize things
13: A model to free yourself from being categorized
12: How to win an NBA championship if you’re a 66-year-old grandmother
11: A model to motivate success instead of feeling sorry of yourself
10: A model to motivate physical and emotional fitness
9: A model on achieving goals: The Samurai Walk
8: A model for stress that calms you down
7: A model to get people to show up on time for you: everybody gets fifteen minutes
6: A model to allow yourself to fail, which gives you freedom to succeed
5: A simple, effective strategy for improving yourself — probably the best I know, and it’s totally free: Feedforward
4: Top models and strategies for negotiating
3: A belief to choose without getting mired in indecision
2: A belief to motivate trying new things
1: Should you change your beliefs? Or at least consider alternatives?

March

31: My experience doing yesterday’s exercise and what it means to you
30: An exercise in knowing your beliefs; so you can change them
29: On giving unsolicited advice
28: How not to overspend on things you don’t want
27: We proved each other wrong… and right.
26: How to avoid temptation
25: What makes a world-class speech
24: I felt miserable this morning. Then I got out of it.
23: More on John Wooden
22: A few minutes on one of the best leaders in U.S. history
21: Choosing your beliefs; a life and death example
20: Unexpected skill for improving yourself
19: The limits of what you can achieve
18: Don’t take things personally when they aren’t
17: Insight into what you’re good at and why from Evolutionary Psychology
16: One way to help prevent unhappiness
15: Paper shredders and making changing beliefs and values easier
14: “I am a freedom junky” — David Allen’s inspiring words that simplified my life
13: Summary of North Korea Videos
13: Do you think leadership is an all-the-time thing? Are you now a great leader?
12: Pick a great historical leader. The leader you know didn’t do what you think they did. And what that means for you now.
11: The Barnes Foundation!
10: Your life wouldn’t be better if your world was worse
9: How to ruin getting useful feedback on customer service
8: Video: Teaching our North Korean guide colloquial English
8: Redefining possibility again
7: North Korean tour guide singing
7: Kingpins of Silicon Alley: meeting entrepreneurial luminaries and supporting entrepreneurship in New York City
7: Video: North Korean subway museum
6: Video: Little boy and his mom with pop-gun by Arc of Triumph in Pyongyang, North Korea
6: Personal development, achievement, and freedom
6: Video: Interviewing Joseph of the American in North Korea blog
5: Video: Ben dresses as an ancient Asian warrior on the North Korean movie set
5: Personal development and achievement
5: Video: Surrounded by North Korean soldiers and flowers
4: Video: Weddings in a North Korea park under a giant Kim Il Sung Statue
4: Stephen King on motivation
4: Video: Incredible kids in a North Korean country schoolhouse
3: Video: Incredible kids in Hamhung, North Korea
2: Video: On seeing North Koreans seeing Kim Jong Un speak for the first time
2: Milestone: post number 1,001!
2: Video: Fireworks over Pyongyang celebrating the hundredth anniversary of Kim Il Sung’s birth
1: Video: North Korea’s incredibly talented and rehearsed children performers — and comparison with some Americans
1: Video: Getting the block and game-winning goal in North Korea’s first Ultimate Frisbee tournament
1: Don’t be Walter: an example

February

1: Video: Mansudae Hill, location of 20-meter tall statues of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il
28: Video: North Koreans after a parade
28: If you think you’re right and they’re wrong, you’re probably annoying someone, illustrated
28: Video: Reflections on the Revolutionary Martyrs’ Cemetery at the celebration for foreigners
27: Video: Revolutionary Martyrs’ Cemetery on the hundredth anniversary of Kim Il Sung’s birth
27: Video: An amusement park in Pyongyang, North Korea and some cute girls there
27: George Clooney on being yourself in the face of adversity
27: Video: North Korea’s War Museum and differences between expectations and experiences
26: Video: On the unexpected beauty of the land of North Korea
26: Video: Bringing peace sooner: High-fiving North Koreans in Kim Il Sung Square, part 2
26: Video: Bringing peace sooner: differences between expectations and experiences
26: George Clooney on accountability
26: Video: Bringing peace sooner: High-fiving North Koreans in Kim Il Sung Square
25: Video: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea: boats, a bumpy road, and a shooting range
25: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea: a glass factory
25: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea: two more fly-throughs of models
25: Video: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea: a steel factory
25: George Clooney on Living Well
24: Video: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea
24: Bringing peace sooner: videos of North Korea
24: Zoetropes in a fourth grade science fair
23: More on leadership and success from Inside the Actors Studio: what anyone overcame, you can too
22: Observations on leadership and success from Inside the Actors Studio
21: My cowboy joke
20: There are few shoulds in life
19: A great model to allow yourself to fail
18: An exercise in doing what you have to even when you don’t want to
17: A question nearly every investor asks that you, the entrepreneur, can almost never answer
16: If you want to retire early, why? Is financial independence your goal or a means to an end?
15: Dustin Hoffman on Picasso on persistence and dedication
14: When to act
13: How to take risks
12: Criticism I deserve myself?
11: Creating false memories is easy
10: When models don’t work
9: You don’t find passion, you create it
8: You won the Tour de France as many times as Lance Armstrong
7: Leadership in garbage we can learn from
6: An entrepreneurial example of leading by example
5: Life lesson in unintended consequences of being right
4: Why football is better than soccer. Actually, why any sport is better than soccer.
3: What is your model for leadership?, part 2
2: What is your model for leadership?, part 1
1: How you look at things solves problems, NASA-style
1: This weekend’s leadership development seminar in Shanghai sold out

January

31: Motivating with compassion but without empathy: telling someone to let go doesn’t help them let go
30: Common objection 12: I’ve worked so long and hard but feel like I’m getting nowhere or going backward
29: Sports in the rain and values changing
28: An Example of Great Parenting
27: How to decide among close options
26: Exercise helps everything
25: Monkey Mind
24: Schindler’s List, brought to you by Ford
23: Martin Luther King, copyright, and the content of his children’s character
22: More on Martin Luther King and leadership
21: Previously Unreleased Interviews with The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. from WNYC
20: Lance Armstrong: A one-man Breaking Bad
19: Responsibility and accountability: expect stagnation without them
18: What’s the relationship between eating and working for you?
17: See Michael Feiner in New York, February 19
17: Joshua Spodek on Leadership Development in Shanghai
17: Why labels and symbols don’t change things; and what they are effective at
16: Instead of calling something right, wrong, good, or bad, consider the consequences of your actions
15: Life has never been more stressful, nor less; happiness never harder to achieve, nor easier
14: Sometimes all you have to do is show up
13: Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness, meditation, and ordering and simplifying your life
12: Comparing biology and physics from a business leadership perspective
11: Rules are other people telling you what to do; Breaking rules lets you excel
10: Richard Feynman on fooling yourself not helping you
9: Fooling yourself doesn’t help you
8: Cigarette smoke is annoying
7: What color is a mirror?
6: What I think about when I exercise
5: Overview of Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — six key concepts of this web page
4: What is leadership?
3: What is passion? How do you find your passions?
2: What is importance? What makes something important? How do I have more important things in my life and less junk?
1: Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — Interlude on writing on emotions and emotional awareness so much
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